Monthly Archives: May 2012

Return to the Tropical Island

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I was away in Glasgow from Wednesday to Saturday. We (sister and sister-in-law-to-be) had arranged wedding beautify-ing trials for Friday as Mairianne was going to be passing through Glasgow that week anyway. And, we got to try on our dresses for the first time! Needless to say, mine is too long for my shorter legs, so there will have to be some tweaking. We had the wonderful privilege of getting to know the lovely lady who will be doing our hair and make-up. It’s getting more and more exciting! We had a lovely trip, very sibling-centred, with a movie night with Seoras and Stephanie, and we all went to Inverkip for a BBQ on the beach on Thursday. It was very yummy, and lovely with such beautiful sunshine. And of course, we kept each other amused! We are so rare! There’s nothing like a sibling (and sibling attachments 😉 although Ruairidh was missing, it was great to have Nma and Stephanie) gathering to cheer you up. And I never turn down an opportunity to annoy Seoras! Ruairidh will be glad I have a bit of annoying-ness out of my system, so thanks Seoras! Mairianne and I stayed over in Inverkip, not on Colin’s sofas, but in beds in their new house! Pleasure to get the tour of their new pad and keep Nma company for a night. Although m legs were tired after going up and down their three levels!

Scotland seems to be having all it’s yearly sunshine quota in one week just now! It has been scorching! And unexpected. I had packed on Monday as I went up to my parents before leaving the bonny Isle, and I had no inkling that the weather was going to be so amazing- I even packed my boots! It warmed up on Wednesday morning and I unpacked them before leaving, but my sandals etc were 1hr15min away at home! I’ll managed I thought. I landed in Glasgow airport, and I was in a puddle on the ground! Toasty warm, (more like oven hot!) and worse, city stuffy! Thank goodness for shops with sandals & t-shirts! I was SO glad to get home on Saturday night after a day of bus and ferry travelling. To get home to my own stash of summery clothes! And hang up that jacket I took with me, and had to carry back home, after never wearing it! This has been such a sudden change really. Usually, you have a more gradual introduction to warmth, i.e. you go from having jacket and scarf, to just jacket; to taking your jacket just in case; to leaving the jacket and taking a cardigan or little jacket. I felt quite vulnerable leaving behind my jacket and vest! No rain clouds on the horizon this week. And I’m told it looks good for the week ahead, yipppee! Lots of weeding and planting in the garden, not so yippee, but enjoyable all the same!

And beautiful days mean beautiful scenery, and beautiful sunsets, and beautiful gloaming. I was so distracted driving down from Stornoway on Saturday night. I left just after 10pm, loving the fact that there was still plenty of light, unlike the darkness of a couple of months ago. The sun took its time going down, and the light took even longer to head on over to the other side of the globe. The sky was stunning it is shades of purple, red. deep blue, set off by the sparkle and contrast of the sea. I stopped quite a lot for photos, but all I had was my phone. Such peaceful, awesome surroundings. We are so privileged to live here, even with the wind and the rain!

May, 11pm in Harris

Memory clutches

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Memory clutches

     It amazes me how much of our memories (well, I speak for my sieve-like brain if not for yours too!) vanish into thin air, like a whisp of smoke floating out of reach, unable to be grasped. And yet other memories, both unremarkable and decidedly significant, seem to cling on, unwilling to fade with the passing of time. A picture, sound, sight, smell, person, occurence, or maybe just ‘the way things were’. memories take so many different forms. Sometimes they are sharp and clear, and other times they may be vague in form yet just as comforting. I have a mug. I grew up with that mug in our kitchen, but then it went on holiday somewhere (most likely tha back of the cupboard!) and it was no longer a part of my daily life. After its long absence, I remember the first time I saw it, and touched it. Something came flooding over me. I used to use this mug, a lot. I remember the colours of those pastel flowers. I remember the ridges in the paint. I remember the warm milky hot chocolate I drank from it. Oh, that taste! What comfort there was tied up in that bedtime cup of chocolate, in the comfort of home and routine. My memory connected with that mug is comfort. Not a picture, or a moment, or a funny thing that happened. Just comfort. That is more than enough. Still, when I see and touch that mug, comfort wraps its arms around me. Sadly, it is now badly chipped and worn. But that is one mug I won’t throw away! It’s too special to me, even if insignificant to others.

     A song just started playing on an iTunes playlist. Something clutched at my heart. Sure, it’s a beautiful song (Grace like rain, Todd Agnew) but it was more than the song that touched me. I was transported. Driving in the car during the year after passing my test. With this song playing, over and over, as the one CD in the car played over and over. Lovely memories of the thrill of being an independent driver. But more. Bittersweet. Driving to and from visiting my Granny, last living grandparent, closest to my heart. Visiting her in hospital and nursing care home. Bittersweet, time together, the dawning reality and acceptance of our time together ending. The beginnings of acceptance and mourning. The joyous awareness of the blessed time we still had. More than a song. No arms of comfort in this memory, just a clutching at my heart. Equally precious.

Today, memories are increasingly wrapped up in photo images or video footage. What a blessing to be able to revisit, ignite these memories, and store them up safely for the future you and future generations. I was recently watching a documentary on TV about capturing images during the great World Wars. The presenter visited with a Frenchwoman whose parents had served in espionage and undercover work during WWII. They had both been killed when she was just a baby. The documentary had investigated the photos and video footage her father had taken during WWI as he flew over France and neighbouring countries, capturing the landscape. She had done some research on her parents and on what happened to them at the end of their life, and her research was very precious to a daughter who had never known her parents. But, she had no clue about the plane journey her father had made in WWI. As she watched some of the footage, she saw her father, flying the plane, turning his head and talking and interacting with the man behind him holding the camera. She saw her father smile. She broke down. She explained how in the photos she had of her father, he was always so serious. She had always wondering what he would look like smiling. What a precious gift! Memory is such a gift.

     I have no memories of my birth father. He died after I turned 1 year old. There are photos. There are stories. They are precious. But in a way, more precious to those who knew him, who miss him. They have the memories woven into the images and stories. They have real emotional ties. I remain, in a way, detached. I remember coming across video footage belonging to a family member, compiled over the years from daily life and holidays. I remember the tension, I might SEE my father. I saw his legs, his back. But not his face. I have never heard his voice. But I have photos of him smiling. Of him with me. I have more than many others. And, I have been blessed with another father in life. From even before my birth father died, I was part of a complete family. I did not miss out. I had and have so much more than many others. I have been ingrafted, this is the reality of who I am. It is difficult for other members of the extended family, because they see how things were, they remember as label me as being someone else. But to me, I am my mothers and father who brought me up, raised me, kissed my bruises and told me off, daughter. I am my brothers’ sister, and my sister’s sister. I am who I have become. Life circumstances so often dictate who we become. Even more, I have a heavenly Father, who understands where I’m at, in life, emotionally, spiritually. A Father who has taken me through every moment, and who cares and provides for me more than any other. I trust Him. I trust Him to know the best. Unless we surrender, life will eat us up. I entrusted to him many years ago my confusion, my hurt, my questions, my life. To whom else can you go? Who else understands? Who else works things? And He drew close and blessed. What a blessed life I have known!  I tremble when I think of where the road could have led. But thankfully, man is not ultimately in control. Surely our memories of life bear witness to this? Cherish your good memories. Trust God with the hard and difficult ones. He knows.

I had hope just to share a little of what memories mean to me, but as usual, I seem to have gone on.

Words ramble, as thoughts flow. Thank you for letting me share.

‘Whatever has come to be has already been named, and it is known what man is… For who knows what is good for man while he lives the few days of his vain life, which he passes like a shadow? For who can tell man what will be after him under the sun?” Ecclesiastes 6:10,12  ESV

Pslam 27

“The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” Psalm 16:5-6  ESV

That we would truly say this, no matter the trials that come our way. Because, over and above it all, He has blessed us with every blessing in Christ Jesus (Eph 1).

Granny, nearing the end of life

Recipe Day

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I’ve been fine-tuning a gluten free sponge recipe this week to share with my brother’s wedding cake maker. I adapted a recipe one of my aunts in Canada shared with me, a Deluxe Pound Cake, as an option for our wedding cake. Yup, I made our wedding cakes. As most will already know, Ruairidh has a list of dietary no-nos, and he wanted to be able to eat some of his wedding cake too! I found a tasty, Ruairidh friendly Nigella fruit cake, made some alterations myself and, after a couple of trials, I knew it would be perfect and manageable. But I wanted to have a sponge option as well, and as Ruairidh could have the fruit cake, a ‘normal’ sponge would be fine. But what recipe would stand up to the size, waiting time, and icing involved? My aunt’s recipe was perfect! We had cake success, with the icing help of a friend. So this week, I decided to adapt the recipe to see if it would work as a gluten-free wedding cake. We just finished eating it today! It was great, actually even better than my initial wheat-full cake trials. And I honestly think you wouldn’t have noticed a difference. I’m not so keen on the strong rice taste and texture you get in a lot of GF cakes. But I’ve discovered that ground almonds make all the difference. If you eat gluten-free, I hope you can make use of this. If not, I’ve written up the wheat-full ingredients as well! Oh, and it’s optionally cow’s milk free too.       To make this a real recipe day, I’ll throw in a Banana Loaf recipe . I think this may have come from Canada as well. I typed it up for one of my brothers recently so it’s handy to share. I miss not having bananas in to get over-ripe for banana loaf! I don’t actually eat raw banana, there’s just something about them I struggle to swallow. My mum says I used to eat loads and loads when I was wee, maybe I sickened myself with them! And Ruairidh never thinks of buying them, so our fruit bowl remains banana free. Until I remember, and then our fruit bowl has spotted and black bananas waiting to be magically transformed into scrumptious loaf! The best way to use up old bananas I say, and old bananas are best. Enjoy!

GF/DF Fruit Cake PDF

Banana Loaf PDF